Exhaustion Part two

I got up at 543am and had breakfast and made my eggs.

I added a 8 oz glass of diet cranberry juice to add some variety.  Plus the tap water around here has been tasting sort of stale.

I then found out by going though my mail that my recent hospital admittance is being denied by my insurance company is trying to deny coverage. I spend the next several hours trying to figure out if there was anything I can do about it. I really don’t want to be bankrupted. We are trying to start a business and find  a way to stay in Nutley NJ. This knowing that I am facing a paycheck which I only had 16 hours at work. My friend in the Insurance department at work said that she thinks that it will work out since the doctors are the ones that made a mistake on the diagnosis when they billed… and everyone is in network… but still it totally freaks me out. I spend half my work life raising thousands of dollars for women who can’t afford reproductive healthcare… and just once I wish that there was someone I could call who would raise thousands of dollars for me so I don’t go under!  Anyway – just feeling sorry or myself…

 

I made lettuce wraps with Turkey and swiss. I also had a banana and a cottage cheese.

 

I made it to 5 pm and caved into what we call the “cookies of despair” at the office.

 

For dinner we had a pork chop and mashed potatoes and carrots. It was delicious  and comforting.

 

Then I had a cup of berries and yogurt. I am recycling last times picture so there are bananas in the pictures but I did not have one for dessert tonight.

 

Yesterday.. exhaustion

The same 3 scrambled eggs for breakfast… but good…

Yesterday was a day I had big plans… work, then clean house, then edit, then clip coupons for the coupon file…. and I had a drink with a friend after work, came home, talked to our friend / accountant to schedule an appointment. Then promptly went to sleep. But Diet wise it was not bad. I had the usual eggs for breakfast.

Lettuce wraps, Turkey and Swiss with Durkee’s dressing. I also had a 1/4 cup almonds, a greek yogurt and a banana.

 

Lunch was 4 oz turkey, 2 oz swiss cheese, 2 T durkee’s dressing, 1/4 almonds, 1 greek yogurt and a banana.

I had a Cosmo with Karlin at Beer Authority on the way home. She vented about wedding prep and we talked more about her photography. I wish she was not so stressed – but I think everyone I know that has gotten married has had a crazy person right before ( I know I was) so I am sure she will be OK.

When we got home Matt and I were both too tired to cook. We ate sandwiches (which I forgot to take a photo of) and then talked to Rich B about an accounting appointment… then went to bed.

Not too bad… hungry but OK

If only I knew a better easy high protein low carb breakfast… but here we are…

 

So I made it out of bed at 6:30 am – later then I had planned – but in the spirit of high protein / low carb week I managed to make my eggs and start the day.

I got to work on time where I was greeted by the medical staff who were all really happy to see me since I have been out of work for about two weeks. One being sick and the next being on a planned vacation to the Cape. Of course it was Tuesday at the crazy women’s health center so tensions were high. Lucky for me they had my new desk and computer all set up in the admin part of the office so I was away from most of the chaos.

Lunch was at 130 pm. I missed my snack because we were just too busy for eating even in the back office.

I spent my break at my desk so I would not have to deal with all the doctors asking if I was OK.

 

4 oz Turkey cold cuts

2 Oz Swiss Cheese

Garden Salad  1 cup with 1 tablespoon vinaigrette

1/2 cup almonds

1 fat free vanilla greek yogurt

The afternoon I spent fundraising for a patient coming in tomorrow with no money. She actually has insurance but because she works part-time her Medicaid plan is Family Health Plus instead of regular Medicaid benefits and she can’t get the services she needs because they are not covered. spent the whole afternoon calling all over the country and even had some funds call me cell tonight because I was so worried about her. She was crying hysterically afraid that she would not be able to get help anywhere. I was able to raise $750 which hopefully will be enough. We just have to hope tomorrows testing goes ok.

I got home and did a little bit of cleaning – mainly dishes and putting some things away. Then I sat down to work on film stuff for about 1 1/2 hours. By than Matt had the chicken grilled and so we ate dinner.

Delicious!! Thanks Matt!

830pm

1 Chicken Breast

1 1/2 cups Garden Salad

2 Tablespoons Vinaigrette

Then I put together Matt’s lunch and mine. Then I sat down for tonight’s TV and then I have to go to bed.  I made a great desert with

1 cup strawberries

1 banana

and 1 greek vanilla yogurt

I am hoping that this makes up a bit for the fact that I did not eat any of the fruit today.

 

 

 

Back to Life… Back to Reality

Monday August 27th 2012

So I am back from a great vacation on Cape Cod. We spent the week hanging out with Gail and Hank – my wonderful in-laws and resting on the beach. After a long week of being sick the week before it was a much needed rest…. but not it is back to the office, back to the film, back to the house cleaning…. and back to the low carb diet until I can make up for the vacation and get the scale moving in the right direction again. I am trying to decide if I weigh myself today or just wait until after I am good for he week and then weigh myself. I think that I will…. but just approach it as a guide to where I want to be next week. No beating myself up… no judgements. I needed this week of stress free relaxation to get over the week before. Now I restart.

430 am      3 eggs scrambled with 1 T ketchup.

Eggs at Dawn…

I did pack my lunch last night – as soon as we got back from The Cape. This was made easier by the wonderful new bento boxes given to Matt and I by Gail. They are totally cool.

Awesome Bento Boxes!

For a 930 / 10 am snack I have a banana and Almonds

I spread the almonds out over the whole day…

For Lunch I packed the following:

1 cup Boston Lettuce

4 oz turkey deli meat

2 oz swiss cheese

2 T Durkee’s sandwich spread.

Yummy Lettuce Wraps!

I have a lot of chores to do around the house and a lot of editing to do this week. I need to really seriously clean the place from top to bottom so I am starting in the kitchen today. I am devoting 2 hours to that when I got home…. but I was super tires to I washed the dishes and put some things away and watched “White Coller”

So many reasons to love this show!

Then I have to start logging the footage from our shoot at Candle Light Concerts for Epilepsy Awareness so that we can begin editing that for Eric’s website and our web site too eventually. It was a really great shoot and I loved it so it should be fun to log.

Dinner will be salad of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, pepper with home made italian dressing.

Dessert will be 1 cup strawberries and a vanilla greek yogurt. Yum! not as good as ice cream – but creaming and cold so what more can I ask this week?

Escape to Cape Cod! The First Half…

Ok, so I have been off line for a week because I have been in and out of the hospital. It is long and complicated… I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Intercrainial hypertension —- needed a lumbar puncture which landed me in the hospital for two days… And the immediately got a UTI / kidney infection which sent us back to the ER two days later.

Luckily we are safely in cape cod on vacation where we can rest and relax. My eating has not been great but at least I have been trying to eat only half of things at a time.

Saturday
930 am 2 servings wheat thins

130 pm strawberry poppy seed salad with chicken
Diet Coke

Much better then I expected for 400 cal

630 pm 6 oz meat loaf
1/2 cup lima beans
1 sweet potatoes

Sunday
1030am Western omelet
Cinnamon Raisin Toast
1/2 cup home fries

Delicious!

230 pm Ham and cheese Wrap
1/2 Fruit salad
Diet Snapple

530 pm 1 grilled calamari ( I gave Matt the other two)
Beet Salad
Lobster Saffron Risotto cake
1 Cocktail (Summer in a Glass)

11pm Flourless Chocolate Cake

Monday
1030am English Muffin
1/2 fruit salad
Coffee with Milk and sugar

1230 pm 1 scoop ice cream

230 pm 1/3 of a french fries
Diet Coke

630 pm 8 oz steak
Grilled Asparagus
mashed potato
10 pm 1/2 a pastry

Tuesday
1030am 1 english muffin
1130pm 1/2 a serving clam strips
1 lobster roll
diet coke

230 pm 1 ice cream cone

630 pm 1/4 of a stuffed portabella
1/4 of a calamari appetizer
small Caesar Salad
1/2 Bison Ragu over Linguini
1/2 a chocolate mousse

Wednesday
930 am bowl of Kashi Protein Crunch
1/2 cup milk

12pm 1 serving Wheat thins
Diet Coke
Ice Cream sandwich

4pm toasted english muffin

Thursday 8/9/2012

I am sorry I am not writing much… just very tired… but I promised to have my photo food journal up.

The same 3 scrambled eggs for breakfast… but good…

 

I had a 20 oz Diet Coke instead of iced Coffee this morning on the bus… but was too tired to take a picture.

I did not have time for a morning snack… I did drink a 20 bottle of water though which I know I needed.

Lunch at 130 pm was chicken and broccoli with 1/2 cup of white rice this time… I was not steamed because that cost more and I am a little cash poor right now…

I know that it has too much oil because of the pretty glossy look… but it was yummy!

 

Dinner at 9 20 pm with Matt… and DVR of John Stewart

6 oz salmon and 1/2 cup of saffron rice… thanks Matt for dinner…

 

 

 

 

Wednesday 8/8/2012

Wednesday was a long day for me.

I had Iced coffee on the way to work…

Skim Milk and Equal — mmmmm…..

Not Enough Coffee in the World….

Morning Snack – 11 am

The Nectarines from the Farmers Market are awesome.

Lunch at 2 pm

 

6 oz steak and some left over roast asparagus

A drink before Dinner ….

Dinner at Beer Authority with an old friend –

Grilled Shrimp Salad ( it has beets, greens, shrimp and I swear some pickled onion… yumm!)

A long long day… both good and bad…

Today was another 4:30 am wake up call to make it to work by 7 am. So hard… but at least it meant I could do a lot of work on different things this afternoon.

Because I was so slow going I had a hard time with Breakfast.

I had a seltzer on the bus into the city because I was thirsty and although I SO wanted coffee I was not awake early enough to make it myself and the Starbucks does not open that early!

Cranberry Lime is my favorite! I have tried the Raspberry Lime but there is something about the cranberry.  When I am really in control this is my substitute for Diet Coke  – much healthier… but today it was not going to me enough.

I grabbed a Diet Coke on the way into the office because I needed the caffeine and I did not have time for stopping at the cart or the Dunkin’ Doughnuts. I just needed some caffeine I could drink surreptitiously while working.

I could not eat the yogurt and Fiber One that I had planned to sneak in on break so I had the almonds I had also grabbed on the way to work. It was more then my allotted 1/4 cup – but it did double duty as breakfast and 10 am snack… not perfect but better then the doughnuts and beagles everyone else was having…. Yes I was jealous!

Lunch was 1/2 a grilled chicken breast left over from last night and garden salad. (About 1 1/2 cups) with 3 teaspoons of Italian dressing.

It really is 1/2  chicken breast although you can’t see it much in the picture because it is covered with salad veggies.

I almost ate the yogurt I had brought for breakfast – but instead I eat the Plum I brought with me.

It was a California Cheery Plum… I don’t really know what that means except that I like them and it was cold and tangy and delicious! Not as good a chocolate… but pretty good.

I made it through work at the office and then headed out to do a bunch of different chores. I for my pre-vacation hair cut which I could not really afford to do… but did anyway. I went and looked into how costly it would be do get prescription sun glasses…. and realized that it is too much and I need to just find fit overs that work with my new glasses… and then I headed to B&H… that vortex black hole which sucks the cash away from all video and filmmakers I know. Don’t get me wrong… they are awesome and I always shop there when I can…. but you can’t get out of there for less then $100. I got the mic mount, mic stands and cables we needed and made if out only spending $117. Thank goodness!

The other bright spot of the day was getting permission from the Grounds for Sculpture in NJ to shoot there this weekend at Eric’s wife’s memorial bench. It will be a beautiful place to film and very meaningful for Eric so I am very happy about it.

I have to admit that I caved on one spot today….. I know I know… I am weak… but  I got a Tastidlite before dragging all me equipment to Port Authority.

I know that I should not have this in any way shape or form… but instead of Hagen Daas it was still a better choice right?

I made it home and decided to watch The Closer and rest a little before roasting the asparagus I got to go with the steak we are grilling for dinner

.

… then it is off to a long night of editing. At least I don’t have to get us as early tomorrow…

Here We Go Again

Hello again… So I am here writing again for several reasons. First I lose more weight when I am writing this blog apparently… and because my nutritionist Leora thought it was a good idea to start it up again and give her a full access photo food journal so she knows what is happening on an ongoing bases. As we all know – pictures do tell us so much more then anything else.

So today began with the usual…

ahhh… breath in that 5:45 am aroma ….
Coffee with Skim Milk and Equal

This held me over until I got to work and weighed myself… my nutrition appointment day ritual. I snuck into the nurses office – which is easy mondays since there are no people in the office except the admin staff like me… I stayed at the same weight as last week. I was relived – although also a little disappointed since we are playing the – can she / can’t she have carbs game right now and to me this says that I can’t – but we shall see. At least I did not gain. For this point in the blog I am calling this point my starting point. I am not going to give you a number because it is too humiliating…. but I am still down form last years – just not the 50 pounds I was. More like 30 lbs… so I have lost some ground.

Anyway – post weight in I had breakfast.

Scrambled Eggs and Wheat toast ( A carb I should have avoided)

I spend the quite part of today working on the counseling handbook for work… and then making confirmation calls and working with the rest of the phone staff who had less then the usual enthusiasm. little miss spent the day complaining about her stomach ache to lay the ground work for the fact that I am sure she is calling out sick tomorrow. Then Our new girl who I really like was pretty low energy. Anyway we got through to lunch.

I swear I will turn into chicken and broccoli by the time I lose this weight of mine…. with Brown rice today… and Diet Coke… I have lapsed… sorry

Tonight we are planning to have Grilled Chicken and garden salad. I am not really hungry because of the Diet Coke I have been nursing the last few hours…

The Late Dinner of Grilled Chicken and Salad ala Matt….

I ate most of the chicken and the cucumbers, tomatos and green peppers out of the salad. Just not excited about lettuce today.

So I have been busy!

 

I haven’t been writing – but it is for a very good reason. I have been super busy starting a Multimedia documentary company with Matt… talk about both fun and stress all in one package! At the same time as getting that going – or I should say the reason we did this is because we started shooting initial interviews on our documentary about people living with epilepsy!! We have discussed this project for about 4 years but only now are in a position to get it going! I have been writing the proposal, meeting with animators and interview participants and searching for fiscal sporship and grants to apply for. All this while working full-time! So I am essentially having to give up TV – which if you know me is no small feat. I am basically down to the occasional 15 minutes of John Stewart or Colbert and maybe a drama around 11 pm. But that is it. Anyway, all this is to say that I have not just been sitting around  – or on an endless bike ride as Wen seems to think…LOL. I had said to Wen that I was giving up this blog because of all the other writing I was doing right now – but I think that I am going to try to write at least once a week to keep myself on track.

 

I have actually made a great step toward improving my health after three weeks of totally slacking off. I found out that Oxford will cover 100% of a nutritionist if I have family history of heart conditions, diabetes and other illness that benefit from preventative care so I said – sign me up! I found a really nice nutritionist named Lisa through ZocDocs.com that takes Oxford and met with her last night. She was really great and had a good sense of humor. I told her about this blog and the losses and gains of the year. I am still down – but not at the 50 lb mark I worked so hard to get to. I talked to her about my good and bad experience with Weightwatchers… too much freedom and not enough guidance when I am only able to do the on-line system.

Together we worked out a food plan that is similar to what I was doing before – but at least I feel like it is being monitored by a medical professional. She also put a nix on any ideas / fantasies about rapid weight loss. She basically said that she feel and has seen that people are able to lose more weight and keep it off only by making slow gradual changes.

A girl can dream….

I know that this is the voice of reason – however I always have this secret desire to suddenly lose all my 150 pounds in three months and be stunningly slender by Fall…. yeah, I know…. I know… Anyway – the current plan for me goes like this:

 

Breakfast (300 cal)

1 egg or 1/2 cup egg whites

1/2 to 1 cup non – starchy veggies

1 oz cheese

Salsa

1 light English muffin or a fresh fruit.

OR

1 cup Plain Greek Yogurt

1 cup Fresh Berries

1 Cup Fiber Cereal (Fiber One)

1 tsp Agave or Truvia.

Morning Snack (200 Cal)

A Medifast Bar or Shake Plus String Cheese or 10 Almonds

Greek Yogurt with a Fruit

Lunch (400-500 cal)

4-5 oz lean protein

a fruit or yogurt

2-3 cups non-starchy veggies

1-2 servings health fat (1/4 avocado or 2 t salad dressing)

Mid Afternoon Snack (200 cal)

Medifast Shake or Bar and nuts or string cheese

or

mini microwave popcorn

or

1 packet plain oatmeal with nuts

Dinner (400-500 cal)

4-6 oz lean protein

veggies / salad w/ 1-2 tsp dressing

or

Something off the Steamed Menu Chinese

or

Sashimi with Salad and Edamame

Dessert! (200 cal)

a Drink or Wine

or

Frozen Yogurt

or anything that fits that calorie

She also said that if I find myself in a place where I can’t find what I planned I can eat something that basically fits the range of calories we set – just try for high protein and lower carbs. She emphasised that I should choose one dinner a week to have whatever I want and then stay on track the rest of the time. Basically she does not want me to feel deprived because that is when I tend to over eat or binge.

I am not over thrilled about the Medifast bars  / shakes mainly because I have to order them rather than buy them at the store. I know why she likes them. They have the best 1 to 1 ratio between carbs and protein… the ones I found for today (ZonePerfect and South Beach) are high protein but have a 2 to 1 ratio between carbs and protein. I figure that since they are within the calorie mark for now they are OK. But I e-mailed her to see what she thought. I will order some of the Medifast bars soon.